Furry Friends - Boris To The Rescue - Book 1 Page 4

Boris’ First Day at Human School

  Boris and I walked into class. Kade and James came running up to me, asking where Boris was.

  “Sorry boys, Boris is doing something else today, maybe he’ll come another day,” I said, feeling bad for telling a lie. “You should have seen him last night, he is so much fun. We played pirates and hide and seek in my bedroom.”

  Kade and James looked at each other and smiled. James raised his eyebrows, “Sure Bobby, sure you’re not going all loony on us,” and he punched me in the arm.

  “Boris is real boys, I promise that one day I’ll let you meet him,” I replied. But I could see that they weren’t convinced.

  “Stinky Jack” was sitting in front of me and boy did he smell. I smiled as I imagined how smelly he would be by the end of the day as the yoghurt went off.

  Mr. Eggerton always started the day off with a joke, “Where do pencils go on vacation…pencil-vania.” Boris cracked up, he was rolling around the floor laughing his head off. Now the joke wasn’t even funny, but Boris…watching him made me laugh out loud. I looked up and every head had turned in my direction. Kade whispered, “Are you okay Bobby?”

  Mr. Eggerton smiled, “Finally someone gets my jokes.” I didn’t know what to say, so I just smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

  Then everyone started laughing, except Jack, he mouthed, “Teacher’s pet, you crawler,” at me. I looked down at Boris and he was giving Jack a death stare.

  “Okay everyone, enough fun for today, take out your math books and we’ll start working,” the teacher instructed, breaking the tension between Jack and myself.

  “Yay,” said Boris, “I love math!” I gave him an - are you for real - look. How could anyone love math!

  Even though my Dad is a teacher, I am at best a C student and I really struggle with math and spelling. So when Boris said that he loves math, I was happy as he could help me. We started off with the 3 times tables. Mr. Eggerton would call out a sum and we had to raise our hand to answer it. Now normally I never put my hand up because I often get the answers wrong, but today I had Boris to help me.

  “3 X 7?” Boris called out 21 immediately, so I raised my hand. My teacher looked surprised, “Bobby…”

  “21 Sir,” I called out.

  “Excellent Bobby, you must have been practicing at home,” he said in a happy voice.

  And this continued on, I was the first to raise my hand every time and I got every sum right! Having Boris at school was definitely going to make me look smarter.

  Then Mr. Eggerton put an addition sum on the blackboard and told us to work it out. Boris told me the answer straight away, so I raised my hand and gave the correct answer once again.

  “That’s amazing Bobby, how did you work that out so quickly?” he asked. “Come up to the blackboard and show your classmates how to work it out.”

  Oh no, I had NO idea! I wasn’t listening yesterday! I didn’t know how to do it! I could feel my face turning red, my hands were getting sweaty. I couldn’t tell my teacher that the invisible red furry monster next to me had told me the answer.

  I walked slowly to the front, dragging my feet. Boris could sense my fear. “Don’t worry Bobby, I’ll tell you how to do it,” trying to make me feel better. And then Boris told me what to do and what to say. My teacher was amazed! The whole class was shocked! Who was this boy at the front of the classroom, surely not Bobby Campbell who is no good at math!

  “Wow Bobby,” said Mr. Eggerton, “you must have been listening yesterday.”

  I gave him a smile and returned to my seat. On the way, Jack stuck his foot out and tripped me. I went flying into the air and I fell flat on my bottom.

  Then he jumped out of his seat and offered to help me get up. I just looked at him and shook my head. Of course, this was just an act for the teacher.

  “So sorry Bobby, I didn’t see you coming,” he said with a smirk on his face.

  I sat back down again. Boris had steam coming out of his ears. His little horns started twitching. He was so angry! “Don’t let him get away with that Bobby!”

  I couldn’t answer him because I would look like I was talking to myself, so I just shrugged.

  At recess I took Boris into the toilets so I could talk to him.

  “Boris, sometimes kids are mean and Jack is always mean. I can’t just fight him or tell him off every time he does something,” I explained.

  Boris was still fuming, “You have to do something Bobby, he is being so nasty to you.”

  “Boris, I know he is being nasty to me, but what can I do?” I yelled back.

  “You can stand up for yourself Bobby, don’t let him push you around!” he yelled back.

  “What do you want me to do, bash him up!” I screamed, feeling frustrated and angry.

  “Boys come out at once,” called a loud and low voice.

  Oh no, it’s Mr. Stone, the school principal and he thinks there is someone else in here that I am talking to. What can I do?

  “Come out now, both of you!” he yells again.

  I wash my hands, trying to think of an excuse. Nothing comes to mind, how can I explain that I was arguing with an invisible little red monster? Maybe I can escape. Climb out the window (no too high), flush myself down the toilet (no, I’m too big and people do poos in there - yuck)…there was no way out. I took a deep breath and walked out.

  “Hi, Mr. Stone, it was just me in there,” I say, hoping that he buys my story.

  “Don’t lie to me Bob, who was in there with you?” he demanded.

  “Honestly, it was just me,” I reply. And with that he walks straight into the boys’ toilets.

  “Who else is in here, come out now!” Then he looks around, checking each toilet and realizes there is nobody else in there. “Are you okay Bob, you sounded like you were fighting, aahhhh, with yourself?”

  “I’m fine Sir, I was just thinking out loud,” I say, feeling embarrassed and knowing that he will tell my father. Great…now the principal thinks I’m going crazy too.

  “Well Bobby, if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can come to my office anytime.” He gave me an - I feel sorry for you - smile and walked off.

  Boris Strikes Back

  After lunch Mr. Eggerton always makes us read silently for 10 minutes. Sometimes I think he just wants to finish his coffee, but it is a nice quiet time in our classroom.

  Boris sits next to me. His horns are twitching and he still has some smoke coming from his ears. This seems to happen whenever he is upset or angry. I give him a smile and start reading my book.

  “Jack, can you clean off my board?” asks Mr. Eggerton. Jack hates reading, so he gladly hops up and starts cleaning off the board.

  I look up from my book and Boris has disappeared. I look under my desk and all around the classroom and then I spot him, out the front standing close to Jack. Boris has a huge grin on his face and I wonder what he is up to.

  Then I hear the longest and loudest fart I have ever heard. Boris is bending over with his bottom facing towards the class. Everyone looks towards the noise. Towards Jack! His face goes bright red and he starts to shake his head.

  “It wasn’t me,” Jack says in a high-pitched voice.

  Then Boris gives me a wink and bends over again. He lets out another fart that matches Jack’s voice…very long and very high pitched.

  “That wasn’t me either,” Jack yells, as his face turns purple.

  All my classmates have now recovered from the shock and burst into laughter. James in laying on the floor, rolling around laughing. The girls are giggling and some of them have tears running down their cheeks from laughing so hard. Even Mr. Eggerton is laughing.

  “Okay everyone (laugh), settle down (laugh), it is only air (laughing louder),” he blurted out. Mr. Eggerton was barely holding himself together.

  Then a smell started to slowly spread across the room. Not a nice smell, but the worst fart smell you can imagine. It was like a cloud of poo and rotten fish. It was DISGU
STING! The laughter stopped, everyone slapped their hands over their mouths and noses.

  Mr Eggerton’s face turned red at first and then it started to turn green. The poor man, he was standing very close to Boris.

  “Get out everyone, save yourself!” yelled Mr. Eggerton. And then he threw-up. Vomit erupted from his mouth like a raging volcano. This made the smell and yuck factor much worse! Sarah, who sits down the front, took one look at Mr. Eggerton and she threw-up as well, all over her desk.

  We all raced towards the door, still holding our noses. Children were vomiting in the bushes outside the room. It was chaos. It was easy to see what she had for lunch.

  Once outside I took in a huge breath. Oh how sweet the fresh air was.

  And then, while everyone was laying on the grass recovering, Jack said in a quiet voice, “It wasn’t me.”

  My classmates just stared at him. Mr. Eggerton said, “Jack, you probably should go to the toilet.”

  Jack went bright red and yelled, “I said it wasn’t me, Mr. Eggerton!”

  Even Jack’s bully friends started making snide comments like, “Sure Jack, we believe you, not!”

  Jack walked off in a huff towards the toilet.

  Boris came out of the classroom looking really proud of himself. I gave him a smile. “Now that is how you handle a bully, Bobby. I love payback time!” and he started laughing. I just shook my head at Boris and thought…how can one little monster cause so much trouble.

  The smell inside was so bad that we couldn’t go back in all afternoon. Instead we went to the oval and played sport. So Boris not only embarrassed Jack, the biggest meanest bully I’ve ever met, but he also got us some more sport time. Outstanding farting Boris! It is just a pity that so many of my classmates felt sick from the smell.

  On the bus trip home Jack was VERY quiet! He sat up the front, giving the nerds a bit of a fright to begin with, but then they realized he was just hiding from his “friends”.

  One of the nerds tried to talk to Jack, “I say man, pretty awesome farting.”

  Jack started to stand, his chest puffed out and his fists clenched into balls. But then he sat back down again and pulled his hat over his face. “Don’t talk to me, nerd,” he said in a mean voice.

  I could see all the kids at the front of the bus smiling. As they got off the bus, every single one of them called out in a loud voice, “Bye Jack, see you tomorrow.” And every time one of the nerds called out goodbye, Jack slunk lower into his seat.

  ***

  When we got home, I asked Boris if he would like something to eat.

  “Yeah Bobby, I’m starving,” Boris replied. “Do you have any tuna or pickles?” he asked.

  So that is why Boris’ breath smells so bad.

  “Sure Boris, how about a tuna and pickle sandwich?” Boris greedily ate the sandwich, he ate it in one big mouthful and chewed with his mouth open. Bits of tuna fell onto his red fur. When he swallowed the sandwich with a huge gulp, he quickly licked the tuna off his fur and then slapped his lips together making a slurping noise.

  “Best sandwich ever, Bobby,” Boris said and then he let out a huge burp. It went for about 5 seconds and it smelt like rotten fish. I backed away, afraid I would vomit.

  Mom must have heard Boris burp, she called out, “Are you okay Bobby, are you sick, honey?”

  “No Mom, I’m fine,” I called back.

  And then Mom walked into the kitchen. “Bobby that smell is disgusting, is that your burp?”

  “No Mom, Boris burped after he ate a tuna and pickle sandwich,” I replied, wondering what her reaction would be.

  Mom looked at me with her serious look and then she broke into a smile and on her way out of the room she stopped and said, “Bobby, you are such a joker, now clean up this mess and get on with your homework.”

  Boris helped me with my homework (he is really good at math). He has a super quick math brain, he is like a high powered calculator.

  We started playing some Xbox games. Boris got upset and he started crying. He is very loud when he cries and orange snot started running down from his nose.

  I asked him, “What is wrong, Boris?”

  “Why did you kill the monster, Bobby?” he asked.

  “Sorry Boris, let’s play another game,” I said. I think I’ll give that game away.

  When Mom called me down for dinner, Boris went back to his home, jumping back into the dream-catcher. Then he poked his head back out and said, “I’ll come back later on tonight Bobby, just in case you have any bad dreams.”

  “Thanks for today Boris, you are the best!” I said and just as Boris disappeared, a tiny green furry monster poked its head out of the dream-catcher and poked its tongue at me.

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